Thursday, August 28, 2008

The pressure is building.

I need to stop checking me email after 9 p.m. because when I do I get snotty emails from ungrateful students which make my blood pressure rise. Case in point, I gave a student in my class a break on turning in her rough draft. She has been a good student, making progress in the class, and completing all of her assignments in a timely manner with good grades. She was in the middle of moving so I gave her the one day extension she asked for.

I grade her draft, give her feedback, and give it back to her with the 10% deduction for turning it in late. This is where the little shit catches herself up for not reading the faculty expectations like she says she did because she sends me an angry email stating I should have told her she would receive a 10% deduction for turning it late and I need to work with her.

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot that my entire teaching career revolves around reminding students about simple facts that they told me they read and understood - NOT! What the hell are you thinking little snowflake? Do you honestly think I am going to cut you any more breaks after you a. lied about reading the faculty expectations (which is a minor thing to lie about) which tells me I cannot believe anything else you say, and b. had the brass balls to email me demanding that I be more forgiving than I already have been?

I would love to come into your reality honey, I think it must be full of candy mountains and fairies waiting to do your bidding - I suggest you come into my reality where you pull your head out of your ass and realize that the rules do indeed apply to you.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Dear Previous Prof.

I know you had my students in your class. I know you passed them when they did not deserve it, much like a second grade teacher will pass little Billy even though he can't read because they don't want him setting fires in the garbage can in the classroom anymore.

How do I know? I am so glad you asked! I know only five students in my class can read simple directions and only three of them can form a coherent sentence. Since this is not the obligatory "first" course every student has to take at this fine online institution I know that this should not be happening. You failed your job as the gatekeeper. You are supposed to keep these retards out. (Gasp, did online adjuncter say what I think they just said?). I have said it before and I will say it again. Not everyone belongs in college. My current class is a prime example of this.

Being what I like to consider a reasonably intelligent adult I can tell the difference between lazy, ignorant, and just plain stupid. The ignorant I can deal with, they just don't know any better - yet. It is the lazy and the stupid I have little time for, as they either cannot or will not learn what I have to teach them. At first I thought that with a little guidance and patience my student's would improve. However with just three passing papers for the first written assignment (on a curve) I am coming to the realization that this just will not happen. When my little darlings randomly put words together in the middle of their paper and expect me to decipher the meaning it becomes glaringly clear that you, my dear previous professor, have put me in this position.

I am sorry little snowflake I do not know what "In the voluntary sympathetic act to prepare the body in stressful emergency. The involuntary parasympathetic division provides a means for the body to maintain storage of energy sources" is supposed to mean.

You coddled them, didn't correct their writing ability, and clearly did not enforce plagiarism rules. They believe they are prime examples of stellar academic abilities. Now it is my job to crush their dreams. Thank you, I hope you enjoyed your good performance reviews at the expense of these student's education; because I know my reviews will be going right in the crapper since I am forced to teach them what you did not - accountability!

I am going to find where you live and beat you with their rolled up papers.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Damn Dirty Grade Grubbers

I have posted the first week's grades and the grade grubbing has begun. Nothing sets my teeth on edge like an email that says "How come I didn't get full credit for (insert) assignment? I need an explaination. Thanks."

First off you little shit, I don't owe you an explaination. You owe me a complete assignment. Don't come whining to me after the fact if you cannot read simple instructions. It is worse when the student did well, but did not get "perfect" scores. They seem to have a stroke when I tell them that they will not always earn perfect scores for their assignments. That would mean they got every concept perfectly! (In which case maybe they should be teaching the course so the students can email them and whine). Sweet mother of god, I dislike whiney students. I would much rather have a struggling student who genuinely needs help understanding a concept but is will to put forth the effort for an 85% than someone who puts forth a s0-so effort and then can't understand why they are not getting a 100%.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

From Famine to Feast

It has seemed in the last couple years things have come in boughts, teaching jobs, happy events etc. I am glad to say that right now things have gone from Famine to feast in my life. For two years now I have been applying to university after university trying to get more adjuncting jobs. The hours of mindless applying has finally paid off and I have one new contract for fall and two in the works for spring quarter. Needless to say I am very excited.

I have also finally crawled my way out of public education and recently accepted a job in the private sector. It pays a lot more, I can work from home and travel for the job, and I make my own hours. I finally found my dream job! For a long time I thought I was stuck in the bowels of public education, but it is this job that gave me a contact with the person who is to be my new boss. I guess it is true when they say everything happens for a reason and you end up where you need to be!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Changes in the works

I started teaching as an online adjunct because my job in the public education system did not pay the bills. I was over worked, over qualified, and under paid. After years of searching for a new job I finally have an offer. It is a GREAT offer, it pays almost 50% more than what I am making now, I can work from home so I can keep teaching (which is great), and best of all I will finally be using my degree in a manner in which I would like to.

Yet I find myself exteremely anxious about this move. I will be without insurance for 6 months. What if I get lonely working from home without co-workers to chat with on a daily basis? Change scares me and frankly makes my stomach a little queezy because I have no control over it. I know it is what I want to do, I know it is what I NEED to do. Now if I can just find the gumption to make myself DO it! :)

Self Actualize This!

Today there is an article that made be grit my teeth on RYS. To sum it up for those of you who do not want to read the article one teacher had a slacker in class who didn't show up for class, do his work, or pass his tests. So obviously the kid got an "F" stamped on him with the big rubber stamp he deserves.

Obviously the kid needs a rubber room though because he had his "therapist" or someone who was posing as his therapist contact the teacher and tell them that because the F was hurting his self esteem because the teacher didn't understand his creativity he needed to raise it to at least a "C".

My guess, the letter the teacher recieved is a fraud. No psychologist or psychiatrist I know would ever help a client avoid consiquences for poor judgement and behavior. That is counter intuitive to treatment. Had I recieved this letter I would have done a liscence check to see if this person even exhisted. If not then I would call the student on it and report the incident to academic honesty hoping that the little snowflake would land in a larger stinky pile of shit. If this was an actual person treating the student I would have to "tsk tsk" them with questions such as "How is avoiding responsbility and consiquences helpful for your client?" and "What gives you the impression that you or the student can dictate the grades earned in my classroom?"

The whole thing just blows my mind.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Do I need to buy the book?

This is one question I hate from my students, and at least one or two ask it every term. On one hand I realize that may professors will have students order several books and sometimes will not use all of them. I realize that students always have limited funds and this is irritating.

However, if I am only requiring you to buy one text for the whole class I think common sense should tell you that, yes, you DO need to buy the text book as this is where all of your material will be coming from.

I find that the students who ask this are also the same students who come to me and cry that they didn't know that the class had started and they missed their first assignment. Unfortunately I shoot their cries dead in the water as I send an email out three days before class starts telling them class is starting and they have an assignment due on the first day. Momma didn't raise no fool!

Monday, August 4, 2008

And it begins . . .

So I finally have my first class of the summer. . .too bad it is almost Fall so it barely even counts. My bank account has shrunk so much it can be considered a natural disaster area.

Anyhoo, class starts tomorrow and the hounds have already been released upon me. Questions, questions, questions, how do I find the discussion questions, I don't understand how to write the paper, can you think for me so I don't have to? So far it has only been three or four students and if this is as bad as it gets, even at three to four emails a day per student, I guess I can count myself lucky. After all it could be a lot worse.

Let's see what hits the proverbial fan tomorrow. . .